What is MOPS to me?

Revised 01/26/11 for Tea & Testimony @ MOPS


Good Morning!

I have so many thoughts and feelings I just cannot wait to share with you. My mind is all a jumble so let’s see where we go today. I think this week’s topic will be MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers.) Once upon a time in a land very far away from here….we will call this mythical land Alta Loma…I lived with my husband and newly born daughter. At that time I was a corporate working woman who commuted 110 miles a day. I loved my job but wanted to be home with my daughter and definitely wanted to reduce my 60+ hour work week. So I boldly walked into the VP’s office and told her I when we worked on the next round of layoffs to put me on top of the list. 6 long months I waited and while driving into the office a little birdie leaked the information to me that layoffs had begun. I had never been so excited to drive that long 91 commute before. A few hours later with what remained of my office in my backseat I was free!

Now what? We sold the house for equity and moved to a “beachside community.” Ventura. I did the mommy thing and took Elena to a music class here, and tumbling there. Unfortunately for me I just couldn’t connect. I hated it where we were and our business venture (which is a totally different subject all together) was failing. So we made the decision to return home.

We returned home but we were now flat broke and had to start all over again. This is a really hard pill to swallow when faced with the knowledge that everything and I mean everything with exception to our marriage and daughter, everything we worked for was gone like vapor. Oh boy did the depression set in. No money. Facing Bankruptcy. Living in this little house in a bad neighborhood. Working all sorts of jobs just to have food on the table. Facing reality. It was bleak. Then after 35 years of marriage my parents divorced. It got very ugly and ultimately decisions were made. My sad little joke is Daddy got me in the divorce and mom got my sister. I made the unconventional decision to cut off mom and her side of the family. That was almost 7 years ago. Now days I communicate with my sister but our relationship could be a lot better.

At the time all this was happening my in-laws kicked out one of their tenants and we moved into one of their properties. It was only supposed to be a “temporary thing.” They were helping us and we were cleaning up the house making it livable - but to me that was pretty low. We couldn’t even support ourselves at that point. As I was painting the house making it ready for us to move in, my mind started to wonder and count days. Yup, you guessed it; I was pregnant with our second, Hayden. 3 major things happening in our family was very hard to cope with. Rock bottom. Suffocating depression. Wondering if we would make it as a couple. That’s when we threw up our hands and stopped trying to do things our way & gave it all to God.

Then good things started happening to us. Brian got a job with the City. We were able to put our daughter in preschool. One of the other mothers must have seen what a mess I was and said to herself, this woman needs MOPS. She started in on me about joining MOPS. I’ll be honest I had absolutely no interest in the group. It sounded weird to me. I mean, what’s a MOPS? Do they get together and clean? If so, then I am definitely out! Plus even though we had given everything to God we hadn’t found a church home yet. So we were kinda drifting. I didn’t join that year; but my friend was relentless. Next year those MOPS ladies were out front of the school and my friend dragged me over to their information table. Together my friend and the lady there convinced me to at least visit a meeting. Reluctantly I agreed. Fully expecting to be asked to clean something.

The next week at our first meeting my son went to this place called MOPPETS and they watched him while I was in a totally different room away from him and was put at this table with quite a few other women who I only knew one of (my friend of course.) These women were AMAZING. They talked and shared and laughed and welcomed me. & we were doing a craft which is something I love but hadn’t done in a long time. I ate a warm breakfast and actually got to sit down while eating. I had the best time there. Our next meeting was two weeks later and there was no stopping me from going. I was hooked. That was 5 years ago. This year I started my 5th and last year at MOPS and it has been an amazing journey for me. I was at my lowest and these women made me whole again. MOPS is what you make of it. If you put yourself out there the women will welcome you. If you just go for the speakers and don’t commit you won’t build relationships but you’ll get to listen to speakers on childcare and marriage. But let me just say, you get back what you give.

My first two years I was just a mom. I didn’t go to many outings in the first year. But, I went to Bunco. My second year I started helping out and getting involved. My third year I stepped into a leadership role, tapped into my Marketing background and did the Publicity for my first group. During that year I was approached to help “birth” a new group at my home church IHC. I worked behind the scenes and when our church saw the beauty of this ministry we started preparing for our first year, which would be my fourth year. I continued my leadership role into my fourth year but God had a different path in mind for me. One morning my son had a Grand Mal Seizure and then several Petit Mal Seizures. Shortly after that I made the decision to step down from my position. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have made. I felt like I was letting my girls down. It was the best for me and my family at the time but I still felt the loss.

Now when I first joined MOPS I was already a mess and just attending. Learning that I wasn’t the only one who struggled with motherhood was enough. I grew and healed quickly and was able to support other MOPS moms when they needed it. This time though, facing the unknown and dealing with doctors over my son was a very frightening experience. I can say right now my MOPS groups saved me a second time. Despite me stepping down from my position. Just their love and support was enough but they brought meals. They embraced me. They were there for me. My MOPS friends were there for me a third time when our home was burglarized in June of last year. 2010 was my needy year. Time and again they supported me; later with the death of my Granpa Carlos on my Dad’s side in October, and my Grandma Chala on my Mom’s side, the day before Thanksgiving. Last year was a very bad year for the Martin’s. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God…” this verse gave me peace and strength to face each day. When times are tough I am reminded to stop and rely on God. To be still.

These women, my friends, we all nurture each other. We support one another. When one of us is having a difficult week we encourage and support. When the other is having an awesome week we rejoice with her. We all come from different walks of life. We are all from different age groups. But we all have a few things in common; we are mothers, we need God, friends, guidance, and a little help to make it through. James 1:17 says “Every good and perfect gift is from above.” Each genuine friendship is a gift from God.

As I said earlier; at the end of this year I will have been in MOPS 5 years. I graduate and that makes me sad. It has been an amazing journey and I don't know if I am ready for it to end. I look at my group of friends today. I still talk to and spend time with those women at my first table. Many of us play Bunco together. My oldest is now in the 4th grade and I see many of my friends on campus, in our after school programs, at coffee, or at breakfast. I am very blessed by the gift of love I have received from all my friends. I cannot imagine what my life would be like right now if I ignored my one friend, if I didn’t join, and if I didn’t put myself out there. I am happy now. I am blessed.  If you are a mother of young children from birth through kindergarten then you need MOPS too. I don’t care which group you join, just find one and dive in!

Until Next Time, SoCal Marisa